suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
