i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
