32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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