just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
