This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
