you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
