i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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