Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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