I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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