you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just puked most of my soul out..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
