I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize