Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
