Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
PANTIES FOUND
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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