I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
