he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So much Jack, so little girl.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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