either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
