Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize