you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it glows. i had to have it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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