I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
