as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My dick has a subreddit
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
