Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
