Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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