another moral hangover. fuck.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
