ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
