I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
