i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
