he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
