I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
