yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize