You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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