like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We talked him into tasing himself.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
