I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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