Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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