i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
