Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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