Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
