Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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