Your dad touched me again.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
