I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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