but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
