I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
