i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
