yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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