My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
