Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
