I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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