quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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