He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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