"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
