omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
