did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So vagazzling was a success
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