No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize