bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
