I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
