is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
