If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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