And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
