She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
