she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
