Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My ass is underappreciated
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
