I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
