her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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