I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
