Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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