I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
