Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
