Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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