But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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