they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
