If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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