Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i dont even know how to be here
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
