I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
