no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
