id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I look better un-naked...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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