YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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