Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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