They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
