walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
