pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
