i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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