..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize