ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
