ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
