Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
