I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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