More tranny stories later!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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