if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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