Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
