Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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